Ever since I was a little girl, I had an overwhelming fear of growing up. To me, birthdays were never just a celebration, they were a reminder that I’m growing closer to adulthood. As the candles would blow into smoke, I would feel an overwhelming sense of worry that time was moving faster than I wanted. Now as I step into my final days of high school, I find myself growing apart from the version of myself who thought childhood would somehow last forever.

No one tells you that childhood doesn’t end all at once. It slowly slips away, quietly. The last time your parents picked you up from school, the last time they packed your lunch, the last toy you begged your parents for. Now, I am preparing for the last summer with friends before we all separate to begin our new lives. Looking back, I realize that my fear of growing up was never about becoming older, it was about losing the comfort of what felt permanent. 

For so long, I feared growing up because I associated it with losing all familiarities, my friendships, my routines, the comfort of knowing no matter what, I will be reunited with everyone come August. But senior year has taught me that growing up is not just about losing things, it is about discovering parts of yourself that you didn’t know existed. 

“People change and things go wrong, but remember, life goes on,” attributed to Mac Miller, the class of 2026’s senior quote, is a quote that has resonated with me even before it was chosen as our senior quote. It is so true to life and high school especially. Through this year, I’ve learned that friendships change but that does not mean the relationship is any less meaningful, and that uncertainty is not something to be fearful of because everyone around you is also unsure. However, life will go on, and so will you. But understanding that growing up is necessary doesn’t make the ending of this chapter any less emotional.

There is a strange sense of grief that follows with realizing that ordinary moments are becoming memories. Not because something tragic happened, but because life kept moving and I wasn’t paying attention. Laughing with friends at lunch while rushing to eat, inside jokes that will stop being told, familiar hallways I will never walk again, singing the alma mater and national anthem before games will soon come to an end. The things I once took for granted and always assumed would be there are becoming the things I know I’ll miss the most. The hardest part is that you rarely recognize these moments as meaningful while you’re living them. It is only afterward you realize they were becoming memories all along.

Before

After

Brandon Kendall / Brooklyn Miller

If childhood is ending, that may not have to be something to mourn completely. Maybe growing up isn’t about losing who I once was but carrying the best parts of who I once was into who I am becoming. While this season of life may feel like a goodbye to my childhood, it is also a thank-you to the younger version of me who got me here.